My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
