dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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