the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She told me I should be a condom model.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
