do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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