this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
