Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
