You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
