idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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