so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
