apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
