My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
