He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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