At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
You had me at "let me see your balls"
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
