He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
