I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
