I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
