so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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