He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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