Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
