Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
