you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
All the doctor said was why
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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