No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
