Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
