Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Randomize
