come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I hope mine doesn't look like that
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
