dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
