I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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