We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I need to align my fucking chakras
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
