well I can't set my house on fire every night
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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