I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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