The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Randomize
