You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
