He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
