There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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