I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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