pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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