you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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