Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
