I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize