You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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