I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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