I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
wow bdsm is so cute
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
