so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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