so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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