She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
So squirting runs in the family.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
