i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
