is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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