his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
