Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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