Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
