if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
