So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
