How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
