The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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