he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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