you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
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