I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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